In Memory of our late Tata
“Just like you, we too had aN INCREDIBLE MAN as our tata.”
Our tata (grandfather) passed away peacefully on 6th March 2013. He was 96 years old, a landmark accomplishment for our family. Still, it feels as if his time came too soon. He left us with lots of memories to cherish. We, the grandchildren, want to share with you his remarkable life story that has made us feel proud to be part of his family tree.
Our tata, Selvam Adakalam was born in Trichy, India on 25th December 1917. Being the eldest in the family, he took the responsibility to support his amma (mother), thambis (younger brothers) and tangachis (younger sisters). In 1932, this hunky-looking Catholic boy, with a mole on his right cheek, travelled with his uncle (periappa) to Malaya in search of a job. His endeavour in Malaya started as a cook for a rich family and later went on to be a cowherd and a gardener. He was a workaholic who hardly ate to send his earnings back to India and the “rest”.......was never in his dictionary. He also learnt the local language (his bahasa pasar) to survive here.
As years passed, this boy turned into a young man. Through an arrangement, he got engaged to a Catholic lady. Fortunately (we are so mean), our cowherd was rejected and the wedding was called off (she’s a loser). Tata, a man of principles, strictly demanded back the gold chain that was given to her during their engagement. Soon after that, his very own love story made its entry……One day, a gorgeous, 13 year old Hindu girl, known as Parvathy (that's our patty) went running around an open field. Our hero noticed her, kept noticing her and couldn’t stop noticing her. Her fairness captivated him. Without wasting any time, he went to ask her appa (our great grandfather) for her hand in marriage. To get his lady love, he signed an agreement, giving up his religion to embrace Hinduism. Finally, the love birds tied the knot on 23rd October 1950 (kethimelum dum dum dum).
Our tata was a true gentleman, with a golden heart. Knowing that our patty was very young, he patiently taught her to do household chores (cooking, cleaning, washing, etc). The couple then stepped into parenthood in 1953 with a baby girl, Santha Kumari followed by a baby boy, Ganisan in 1954 and 3 more baby girls, Sundari in 1956, Vasugi in 1960 and Susila in 1966. Tata not only took great care of patty throughout all her pregnancies and confinements, he also cared for his two nieces, whose parents died when they were still kutty-young.
Tata was a super strict teacher too. Our parents had to wake up at 5.00am daily to study. These mischievous kids used to stare at their books with their eyes closed. We wonder what else they would have done behind tata’s back. For him, any red pen scribbling in their books means MISTAKES! Each of them will get a “slap”, giving enough time for the last ones to hide their books. Somehow, tata’s favourite Sundari, always escaped. Another funny point to note here, he never allowed our parents to talk loudly/laugh/watch television/listen to the radio whenever someone in the family fell sick....hahahaha!
For us, our tata is the strongest man who ever lived. With 7 children to support, his life was hard, adventurous and challenging. In 1949, tata joined Anderson School, Ipoh as a gardener, who was then transferred to Ashby Road Primary School, Ipoh in 1959. After work, he continued gardening and farming elsewhere. During the Japanese occupation, the Japanese officers gave him a pat on his back for his splendid work. His vehicle, a black bicycle did a great job transporting him around (more pushing than riding actually). From nothing, our tata became the owner of a farm, a few cows and even a piece of land in Kuala Lumpur. Eventually, he sold the land to purchase 3 pieces of land, a few cows and a house in India. Today, the land is harvesting ponni rice.
In 1966, our tata bought a single storey terrace house in Ipoh Garden to cater his growing family. He got our parents married with his hard-earned money. Santha Kumari married to Samba Sirvang, with 3 children, Ganison married to Nagamani, with a son, Sundari married to Ratanam, with a daughter and Vasugi married to Utheragi, with 2 children. Throughout his life, he only went back to India once to visit his family. Tata finally retired in 1976 and continued working as a freelance gardener, as his arms and legs just couldn’t keep still. At the age of 70+, our parents sold his bicycle and land mower due to his health condition. He gave up? Nope......he was fully focused on home gardening.
We, the grandchildren grew up with the greatest family ever. Emotionally, our tata and patty played remarkable roles in our lives. They had their unique ways of pronouncing our names……extremely cute! We had the jolliest time ever during school holidays Tata and patty placed us on beds of roses, that we never even lifted a pail of water. Our parents were not allowed to scold us (the best of all, hehehe!). We ate all types of finger-licking food (patty’s chicken curry, oh my my!). We were showered with lots of gifts, gold and angpows, regardless of our marital status; and they always competed on who gives more. Tata also had so many real life stories to tell us and we never got tired listening to them. We used to take him for evening walks in his wheel chair. But guess what? We’ll end up checking our neighbours’ garden. Homework? Neh…...he never checked, he loved us so very much! But, he was cunning you know! All the time he would ask, “Did you do well in exam? Did you score A’s? How many A’s? Did you get first in the class?” This pushy man never stopped till all 7 of us stepped into universities.
Tata and patty ensured that their family was cared for and with that they created generations of people who continued to do the same. They spent their last days surrounded by us. For that, we dedicate our special kisses filled with love and appreciation to our parents, especially Aunty Sundari and Uncle Ratanam. Today, tata and patty are no more with us. Gone are the hellos, hugs, kisses, saggy cheeks and even bits of teasing; only photos and prayers remain.
Tata….patty, we love you with all our hearts and we’re deeply missing the both of you
With tears of goodbye ---> Vinood Raj + Berintha Mahane, Kashietaa + Vinod = Shweta Isyanee, Surrin, Shamini, Levindran, Dinesh and Levvenia
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